My Alarm Clock

- Jesse K. Musa

It's good for what it is. The flow is weak, but it's still there, a remarkable feat for a budding poet. the grammar is exceptional as well. It's evident to me that you have potential.

I don't mean to detract from your work at all, which is exceptional for your age group, but I do have a suggestion: the next time you decide to use metaphor as an overarching theme for your poetry, perhaps you'd best steer clear of phrases such as 'My alarm clock is a gorilla'. I was unable to keep myself from laughing like a loon.

That said, you've got a good idea. I'd just change the beast you use for your metaphor. A dragon, perhaps, or a lion - they both possess the same qualities you describe (moreso than a gorilla, as the case may be with lions. Gorillas are gentle creatures, and only attack if you really piss them off.

Excellent review, yet again, Chris. As well as the one on my new short story. One hundred and fifty literary regard points are heading your direction.

Mister Dreams, You aren't the only one laughing like a loon. This really made me smile, And, having a gorilla in my room Is one reason why I don't Have an alarm clock XD I wouldn't want to get up to something quite so scary. Even If all it took was a pat on his back to quiet him.